Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. – William Feather
Success is a Delicate Balance
Success cannot be defined by one single quality, characteristic or psychological trait. If it were that easy, then everyone would be successful and there would be no purpose for this article or mind map. Instead, success is rather a delicately blended mixture of qualities, characteristics, and traits that if balanced in the right combinations will help you attain the pinnacles of achievement. Just like the ingredients of an elegant meal, a little too much confidence, or too little attention to detail and the entire cake will fall apart when heated up in the oven.
Within today’s discussion, we will break down the indispensable qualities of success from a variety of angles and perspectives.
Personal Qualities of Success
Within this section, we will delve into the personal traits and emotional qualities that are indispensable for success.
Confident
When we cultivate the quality of confidence, everything naturally seems easier, more effortless and we have a tendency to act with deeper conviction and passion.
Patient
When we are patient we make better decisions, are able to spot opportunities and tend to be far more relaxed when undertaking tasks and activities.
Grateful
Gratitude helps us appreciate the little things in life. It helps us appreciate what we have, and that naturally makes us feel good and puts us in a positive frame-of-mind.
Competitive
A competitive spirit pushes us to our limits, forces us to think intelligently about our circumstances, and entices us to step outside our comfort zones in order to do whatever it takes to win at the game of life.
Has Sense of Humor
Having a sense of humor doesn’t mean that we joke around all day. What it does mean is that we see things from a light-hearted perspective. This naturally puts our mind at ease and allows us to think with greater clarity of thought.
Self-Belief and Assurance
When we truly believe in ourselves and our own abilities, then anything and everything becomes possible to achieve. It is this self-belief that separates remarkable people from the masses.
Appreciation for Life and Others
Appreciation comes in many forms. We can appreciate our current circumstances no matter how limited they may seem. As a result, we naturally begin to learn from our experiences and can make better and more effective decisions as a result.
We can also take time to appreciate what the people in our lives teach us on a daily basis — even though on the surface they may seem to be holding us back.
When everything is said and done, it is clear that appreciation brings about more clarity and helps us to learn about ourselves, life, others and our environment in many unexpected ways.
Humble
When we cultivate the quality of being humble, this naturally opens our mind to alternate perspectives while enabling us to learn from our environment and other people in ways that we may not have realized was possible.
Friendly
When we come across as being friendly, this naturally makes us very approachable. When a person is approachable it enables them to attract the right kinds of circumstances, people, and opportunities into their lives that will help them achieve their goals and objectives.
Forgiving
When we lack the capacity to forgive others for their indiscretions or mistakes, we tend to hold onto those negative feelings, and they tend to manifest in our lives in very limiting ways. Not only do they influence our mood, but they also have a lasting impact on our decision making and the thought process that goes into making those decisions.
Forgiving others, allows us to let go of these negative emotions and enables us a greater clarity of thought.
Finally, it is also very important to forgive yourself for mistakes and errors you have made in the past. Blaming yourself for this behavior will eat you up little-by-little until every fragment of your life is absorbed with ill-feelings.
Calm Under Pressure
When we display a sense of calmness under pressure situations, we naturally tend to think with greater clarity and thusly make more effective decisions.
Living Passionately
Passionate living comes from the heart. It’s not something that you switch on or off at a moment’s notice, it is instead something that you become wholeheartedly inside and out.
Living passionately will magnetically attract into your life the opportunities, people, and circumstances you need to get you what you want most in life.
Living Relentlessly and Tenaciously
Those who are relentless and tenacious naturally do more in less time, and therefore discover greater opportunities for growth to help them become who they need to become in order to achieve what they want most in life.
Independent
Living independently does not mean that you do not rely on others to help you achieve your goals and objectives. What it does mean is that you don’t need to rely on others to achieve your goals and objectives because you have built up the necessary knowledge, resources and experience to achieve what you want most in life.
You do however choose to put your trust in other people because you realize that you must leverage your time whenever possible.
Has Burning Desire
Living with a burning desire means being unable to sleep at night because you have plans and ideas you want to implement that will take you one step closer towards your goals and objectives the very next day.
Living with a burning desire means that you undertake tasks enthusiastically and that you face challenges head-on with a sense of excitement and confidence.
As you awaken the very next morning you realize that life has actually become even better then it was the day before, and this naturally strengthens your desire to make the most of this brand new day.
Is Determined
Determination signifies that no matter what life throws your way, you will never ever quit in the face of adversity. You are determined to achieve your goals and objectives, and you will do whatever it takes no matter how long it takes to reach your desired outcomes.
Charismatic, Magnetic and Charming
Charisma, magnetism, and charm are indispensable qualities of the most influential people the world over. These people walk into a room and magnetically draw others to them by the way they talk, behave and project themselves in social situations.
Courageous
Unless we have the courage to step outside of our comfort zones, to push the boundaries of what is possible, and to move beyond what we know, then we will simply fail to live up to our full potential.
Genuinely Caring
Caring for others, for life, ourselves and our circumstances come from the heart. When people truly care about their goals and objectives and care about the outcomes that each of their actions may potentially produce, they naturally become more socially aware and adept to the world around them.
Unconditionally Accepting of People
People are human, and they will tend not to be perfect, and will often make mistakes that were not intended to hurt you. To accept other people unconditionally means that we accept them for who they are and for what they do without conditions or strings attached.
Fun Loving
Having a fun loving nature means that we see the brighter side of life no matter how dreadful or dire the consequences we find ourselves in.
Fun loving individuals tend to relax more, stress less, enjoy life and also tend to be more creative. All of these tendencies naturally help them achieve their goals and objectives far more easily and effortlessly.
Fascinated By People and Life
Children are always fascinated and curious about people and life. They will ask question after question to learn as much as they can about the world around them.
Successful people are very much the same as children. They are in fact big kids, always asking questions, always wanting to learn and know more about people, life, events and the circumstances that surround them. As a result, they end up knowing a lot more then the average person, and can, therefore, make better and more effective decisions.
Sincere
Being sincere means that we are genuine and honest when dealing with other people and circumstances. We don’t hide our true selves behind a mask or veil, and we certainly don’t tell people what they want to hear. We may soften our approach at times, however this does not take away from our sincerity.
Being sincere means that we are very approachable and likable, and this, in turn, attracts a greater array of people and opportunities our way.
Generous
When we are generous with our time, money and heart, we naturally radiate a positive energy — an energy that shows other people that we give more than what we take, and as a result we become useful to society, we become an important voice within the community and we radiate an aura of influence and respect.
Emotionally Intelligent and Proactive
Emotional intelligence is your ability to proactively choose the right emotion that is most appropriate for the circumstances you find yourself in that will get you what you want most within that specific situation.
When you proactively control your emotions, then the world becomes your oyster as you effectively take control of your Life. On the flip-side, when you react to events and circumstances in emotional ways, then you are effectively giving up control of yourself to your environment.
Emotionally Rich, Resilient and Strong
Being emotionally rich means that you live life experiencing a wide variety of empowering and challenging emotions that enable you to grow psychologically on a daily basis. This naturally strengthens your ability to deal with the unexpected consequences of your decisions and actions.
There are many people out there who limit themselves to experiencing only a few emotions. By doing this, they are putting themselves at a massive disadvantage. Not only do they fail to grow emotionally, but they also fail to develop the psychological resilience they need to effectively deal with the unexpected circumstances that life throws their way. Hence, it is important never to resist the emotions you feel, but rather genuinely experience them and take time to understand the message that they are sending your way.
Social Qualities of Success
Within this section, we will break down the indispensable social aspects of success.
Avoids Negative Associations
People who don’t support our goals or personal growth tend to weigh us down both physically and psychologically.
You must be very careful when selecting your group of peers. Make sure that they are supportive of you and the outcomes you desire to experience in your life. If they are not, then they could very well be a liability that will keep you from living the life you seek.
Is Always Smiling
When we smile we immediately radiate a powerful and magnetic energy that’s very attractive to others. This will naturally make you more approachable and will help you to attract more opportunities into your life.
Influences by Example
Nobody likes a dictator who tells you what to do but doesn’t do it themselves.
The greatest form of influence over other people is your ability to influence by example — meaning that you effectively become and do what you would like others to become and do in return.
Honors Personal Commitments and Promises
When you make a promise or commit to something you must keep it, otherwise you will lose the respect of your peers and colleagues, which will likewise pull you away from the opportunities you need to attain your goals and objectives.
Always Contributing
The more you contribute to people’s lives, to the community and to organizations, the greater influence, and respect you will gain in the eyes of your peers. This will, over time help attract the opportunities you need to achieve your goals and objectives.
Complimentary of Others
People like to know that you respect and appreciate them. As a result, they will respect and appreciate you in return. To do this, simply be genuinely complimentary of others when within their company, and they will in-turn be more open to your ideas and suggestions.
Challenges Others
Successful people always challenge themselves to move beyond their present abilities. Likewise, they know that in order to get the best out of others, they must also challenge them to live up to their fullest potential each and every day.
Is Not Concerned with Criticism
Everyone has an opinion about something, and not everyone’s opinion or perspective will ever be exactly the same. Likewise, we cannot please everyone at the same time, nor can we please everyone all of the time. As a result, we may experience criticism whether we like it or not.
When we don’t concern ourselves with the criticism of others we naturally press forward with greater clarity of mind. On the other hand, when we do distract ourselves by the criticisms of our peers, colleagues, family, and friends, we tend to be very hesitant, tend to worry and tend to make ineffective decisions.
Seeks Equality: Win/Win Relationships
Nobody likes to lose, and everybody wants to be treated fairly and equally. When dealing with others it is important to work from the perspective of creating win/win relationships that benefit all parties concerned. In this way, people will respect you and will be more willing to help you achieve your personal goals and objectives.
Seeks Understanding First
It is so very easy to get absorbed within our own personal agendas that we lose sight of the message that another person is trying to get across to us. This could lead to missed opportunities, hurt feelings and a plethora of other consequences that may temporarily halt the progress we are trying to make towards the achievement of our objectives.
Seeks Like-Minded Associations
Successful people constantly seek like-minded associations who have similar interests, beliefs, values, goals, and perspectives about life. They realize that these people are congruent with whom they seek to become, and as such will support them wholeheartedly as they move forward towards the achievement of their goals and objectives.
Seeks to Build Relationships
You must become a relationship builder — taking time daily to connect with new people, to cultivate existing relationships, and to build powerful emotional bonds with the people in your life. Your mission is to help others get what they want emotionally, financially and physically, and then maybe (don’t openly expect it) they will in-turn help you attain your goals and objectives when you need them most.
Who you know, and the depth of the emotional bond you develop with these people could be the only thing standing between you and your objectives.
Listens Insightfully
When we listen openly without judgment or criticism, we allow ourselves the opportunity to understand the true meaning behind a person’s message. This shows them that we genuinely care and respect who they are and the message they are attempting to get across to us. As a result, we will gain their respect and admiration in return.
Is Honest and Has Integrity
With these two qualities the world is your oyster, and without them, you can easily lose the respect of an entire community that you rely on to help you achieve your goals and objectives.
Shows Sincere Interest in People
Finally, it’s absolutely critical that you show sincere interest in people. People want to feel that they are important and that others respect and admire them. In this way, you will gain their respect and admiration in return.
Intellectual Qualities of Success
Within this section, we will identify the intellectual and effective thinking habits that are required for success.
Living as an Optimistic Realist
Pure optimism is a very endearing quality. However, it can very quickly become a weakness because it blindsides the individual into thinking that everything will be okay no matter what they do, think or decide.
The alternative is to become an optimistic realist. This means that you expect that positive things will happen, however, you also have the necessary forward thinking to understand that there will be obstacles along your path and that you must adapt your approach if you want to attain your goals and objectives.
Living Life as a Game
Living life as a game means not taking things too seriously and not getting overly upset when obstacles arise. Moreover, it means treating every problem as a new challenge that will help you grow and learn more about yourself.
Furthermore, we must remember that the game of life never ends as long as you keep playing.
Open Minded
Being open-minded means that you acknowledge other people’s perspectives, that you take time to understand alternative ideas, and that you don’t lose yourself in your own personal view of the world. In this way, you will open the channels of communication and understanding between you and other people — helping you to more readily learn from other people’s mistakes and identify opportunities that may come your way.
Asks Effective Questions
Without asking the right kinds of questions, you will have no hope of finding the kinds of answers you are looking for to achieve your goals and objectives.
Additionally, effective questions are the windows to new insights, ideas and lifelong lessons that will help you overcome the setbacks that life throws your way.
Always Reframes Negativity
Reframing negativity means that you re-interpret negative words or unfortunate events and circumstances in a way that will help you to more effectively deal with the challenges at hand. In this way you will discover alternative perspectives and obtain new ideas and insights that will help you to move through your problems far more efficiently.
Constant Awareness of Thoughts
Everything begins with a thought!
The emotion you are experiencing right now started with a single thought. The decision you just made, started with a single thought. And the life you see before you today, started with a single thought long, long, long ago.
Becoming aware of your thoughts is the first step to change. Once you realize that your thoughts are the cause of all your problems in life, then you can begin to consciously transform them accordingly.
With a sense of awareness you are able to see your life from a new perspective and from a variety of angles — without this sense of awareness, you may as well be walking blindly through a thick fog, not knowing what you are going to stand on as you take your next step.
Good Attention to Detail
Cultivating the habit of attending to the details will allow you to see things that others simply overlook and thusly fail to understand. This, in essence, provides you with a unique advantage. Because you identify what others don’t, you can, therefore, make better and more effective decisions, and are more prone to recognizing the opportunities that come your way.
Thinks Diligently
To think diligently means being able to think in a disciplined, patient and proactive way that enables you to filter out any distractions that may come your way.
Thinks Strategically
Strategic thinking is a balance of critical thinking, problem solving and creativity. All of which are of primary importance when it comes to thinking flexibly under difficult conditions when effective decisions need to be made.
Spiritual Qualities of Success
Within this section, we will unlock the spiritual qualities of success.
Lives within the Flow of Life
Living within the flow of life basically means taking action without resistance, judgment or regret. You are in essence living your life detached emotionally from circumstances and detached mentally from judging the conditions that life throws your way. This is very advantageous because it enables you to perceive events from an observer’s perspective, allowing you to make more effective choices and decisions as you go about your day.
Thinks Abundant Thoughts
Thinking abundantly involves the process of thinking about what you want to do, be, have and achieve. Furthermore, it involves the process of seeing opportunity where there is lack, or seeing solutions where others only see obstacles and problems.
Experiences Abundant Feelings
The experience of abundant feelings is very closely tied to the thought process. When you think abundantly you will experience feelings of abundance and this will likewise clarify your thought process and allow you to make more effective choices and decisions.
Lives within Present Moment
To live in the present moment does not mean that you cannot think about your future goals and objectives. What it does mean is that you are focusing all your energy on the NOW in order to maximize your understanding of the present moment and the circumstances you find yourself in. This, therefore, enables you to make more effective decisions that will help you attain your goals and objectives.
Behavioral Qualities of Success
Within this section, we will discuss the habitual patterns of behavior that are required for success.
Lives Detached from Outcomes
Detaching yourself from the outcomes and circumstances of your life means that you do not involve yourself emotionally as things come to pass — whether good or bad. This will help clarify your thinking and enable you to make better and more effective decisions.
If circumstances do not seem to go in your favor, then you detach yourself emotionally in order to gain insight into the possible opportunities that may now have presented themselves. Alternatively, if things do seem to go in your favor, then you also detach yourself emotionally from the experience in order to gain a better understanding of the possible flaws or future problems of the circumstances that you find yourself in.
Ambitious
Having ambition provides you with energy, with a sense of confidence, and a willingness to learn, grow and become more than what you are today.
Disciplined
When you are disciplined you naturally stick at a task for longer, you are more diligent in your actions, and you are more patient when it comes to making effective choices and decisions.
Let’s Go of Negative Emotions
By letting go of negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, and guilt you effectively clear your mind of the emotional clutter that will sabotage your thinking and limit your ability to make sensible decisions under pressure.
Never Makes Excuses
When we make excuses we are effectively laying blame on others, the environment or circumstances that we feel are out of our control.
When we do not feel under control we naturally project a sense of vulnerability, a sense of limited strength and capacity to proactively take charge of the events and circumstances in our lives — independent of external factors. It is easy to see how a person who locks themselves into this kind of behavior will never achieve their goals or objectives unless of course they drop their excuses and begin taking full responsibility for their lives and circumstances.
Never Judges
He who judges others for their decisions and actions is effectively acknowledging their own weaknesses within this area.
Many people are quick to judge others, and yet they rarely take the time to critically judge their own behaviors and actions.
By judging others suggests that you are closed-minded about alternative perspectives that contradict your own. This could very well prevent you from spotting potential opportunities that you may need in order to help you achieve your goals and objectives.
Never Complains
No matter how bad things seem, no matter how tired you feel, and no matter how much others are trying to steal your dream, you never complain, because you realize that the moment you complain is the precise moment you are giving in to others, events, and circumstances.
The moment you complain is the moment you are beginning to capitulate and give up on your goals and objectives.
Constantly Persevering Forward
No matter what happens, no matter what life decides to throw your way, as long as you keep moving forward and thinking proactively and intelligently about your next step, you will eventually reach your destination. Yes, the path may be somewhat unexpected or may take you slightly longer than you imagined, but you will get there as long as you keep moving forward.
Constantly Alert
When you cultivate the quality of alertness you become more attuned to other people, to yourself and to the events and circumstances of your life. This will help you to spot opportunities and identify new paths towards your goals and objectives that you were simply not aware of before.
Focused on Recognizing Opportunities
When you are alert and aware of yourself, others and your surrounding environment, you naturally notice patterns and the natural rhythms of life that will help you to recognize and identify opportunities that you were previously not attuned to before.
Focused on Solutions
Where others only see problems you see an opportunity or solution to grow, to take action or to make a more effective decision. In your eyes, problems are simply gifts wrapped in toilet paper. They might not look very appealing on the outside, however when you take upon your shoulders the task of unwrapping that toilet paper you soon get a taste of all the wonders that are hidden within. 😉
In order to focus on solutions, you must learn to ask better and more effective questions on a daily basis.
Goes the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile means doing more than you initially planned in order to help others, to move beyond your present circumstances or to simply make the most use of the opportunities that have been presented before you.
Going the extra mile also means moving beyond your present abilities, beyond your current capacity, expectations and beyond what you ever thought was possible.
Focused on What Want
When you only focus on what you want to do, be, have and achieve then you will sooner or later end up attaining your goals and objectives. It’s like a mathematical formula of sorts. Simply focus on ONLY what you want and eventually what you want will become your reality without questions. However, most people can’t seem to do this because of self-limiting beliefs, habits and a weak self-concept.
Takes Intelligent Risks
Taking intelligent risks means weighing up all of the pros and cons of a decision before taking decisive action. This requires good critical thinking and forward thinking skills.
Relishes Challenges
A person who is primed for success absolutely relishes the challenges that life throws their way. Without challenges and problems there is no excitement, and without excitement, there is no fulfillment.
Learns from Adversity, from Mistakes, and from Others
When you take action towards the attainment of your goals and objectives, you will naturally come across obstacles and setback along the way.
By taking time to learn from these experiences will help you to develop the necessary momentum to achieve your objectives far more quickly. Furthermore, taking time in advance to learn from the mistakes that others have made, will save you from making the same mistakes, and will enable you to make more effective decisions towards the attainment of your goals.
Seeks Excellence
Excellence is not something you do but rather something you become over time.
A person who is destined for greatness naturally endeavors to perform at their highest level, and at their peak potential each and every day. They seek to attain levels of excellence that others have yet to achieve, and they desire to live up to the highest standards that they set themselves each and every day.
Always Growing
A person who is on the path to greatness experiences each day as an opportunity to grow and become more than they were the day before. They will grow by moving beyond the obstacles that stand in their way, grow by learning from the people they interact with every day, and grow from seemingly the most irrelevant experiences that help to mold their personalities like clay.
Seeks Measurable Progress
Unless we measure the progress we are making towards the outcomes we desire to experience in our lives, then we will consequently fail to identify areas of improvement that we could take advantage of that would help us achieve our goals and objectives far more rapidly.
Keeps Promises to Self
There are many people out there who wholeheartedly believe that they have kept every promise they have ever made. However, little do they realize that it’s the promises to themselves which they haven’t kept that are hurting them the most.
When you keep seemingly insignificant promises to yourself, you effectively create a surge of energy that strengthens your belief systems, encourages the development of new habits, and effectively transforms your self-concept.
A quote by the controversial author Stuart Wilde that has stuck with me for many years says it in four words:
My Word… My Law!
Proactively Action Oriented
Being proactively action oriented means avoiding the pitfalls of procrastination. It means that you take action each and every day that moves you towards the attainment of your goals and objectives — no matter how significant or insignificant those actions might be. As long as they are moving you forward in the right direction, then you are progressively moving closer to your targets.
Takes Full Responsibility for Life Decisions
Finally, and maybe most importantly, unless you take full responsibility for your life decisions, behaviors, and actions, then you will simply fail to capitalize on the OPPORTUNE PROBLEMS that your decisions, behaviors, and actions create.
Remember that a problem is only a gift wrapped in toilet paper that has opportunities hidden within. 😉
Concluding Thoughts
It has been said that success is more of a journey rather than a final destination. This couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to cultivating the indispensable qualities of success presented here. However, don’t expect that you will wake up tomorrow and suddenly transform your life overnight by adopting all of these qualities into your psychology. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.
We are all creatures of habit that have taken weeks, months, years and even decades to develop and become who we are today. These habits do not suddenly change overnight. However, they do change over time if we actually take the time to consciously transform them with purpose and disciplined action.
To do this, begin by printing out this IQ Matrix map and select one or two qualities each week that you will progressively take time to cultivate. However, don’t just select these qualities, actually take the time to draw up a plan of action or better yet a mind map presenting you with at least a handful of ideas that will help you adopt these qualities into your psyche as you go about your day.
Finally, remember to be patient with yourself. Nothing ever good happens when we rush head first into things that we are not familiar with. 🙂
Time to Assimilate these Concepts
Did you gain value from this article? Is it important that you know and understand this topic? Would you like to optimize how you think about this topic? Would you like a method for applying these ideas to your life?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I’m confident you will gain tremendous value from using the accompanying IQ Matrix for coaching or self-coaching purposes. This mind map provides you with a quick visual overview of the article you just read. The branches, interlinking ideas, and images model how the brain thinks and processes information. It’s kind of like implanting a thought into your brain – an upgrade of sorts that optimizes how you think about these concepts and ideas. 🙂
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