Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. – Brian Tracy
This article is part of an 8 part series to help you develop more confidence in the pursuit of your goals. Here is a list of all articles within this series:
- Improving Self-Esteem
- Transform Your Self-Concept
- Boosting Self-Confidence
- Developing Self-Worth
- Building a Healthy Self-Image
- Pursuing the Ideal Self
- Fake it ‘Til You Make it!
- Developing Superhero Courage
What it Means to Have Self-Confidence
To have self-confidence means being fully accepting of oneself and others. It means being free from self-doubt, and having the necessary self-belief and self-assurance to follow through with one’s desired actions and intentions without falling into the trap of indecision or hesitation.
To have self-confidence also means not defining your personal value or self-worth on outside sources such as people and outcomes. True self-confidence is rather something that comes from within from a place of “knowing”. It is something that you just know and accept wholeheartedly. It’s not something that you try to do or be, but something that you just “are”. It’s a part of you and you are a part of it, and that’s why it is called self-confidence.
I’m of course not saying that you cannot develop self-confidence. You can most certainly boost your levels of confidence, however, it doesn’t really become part of you until and unless you become one with it. I can, for instance, fake it to act confident, but that’s not really true self-confidence. Acting as if I’m confident still comes with doubt and hesitation. It’s not until I become “one” with what I’m doing and fully let go of the fear of making mistakes, succumbing failure or anything else that frightens me, then that is when I begin developing true self-confidence.
Anyone can decide to feel confident, but a feeling of confidence is only fleeting and it often depends on what’s happening outside of you. If things are going well you will feel confident, however, if things are not going so well, then that confidence will quickly fade. As such, true confidence cannot be a feeling, it must instead be a part of who you are no matter what is happening around you. For instance, imagine undertaking a task you have never done before and saying to yourself one of the following two statements:
I’m feeling confident…
I have self-confidence…
Now, answer, which of these two statements is the more powerful statement? Most people would say that the second statement is the more powerful statement because “to have” something is much more powerful and permanent than if I was “to feel” something. And within this example lies the key to help you develop true and lasting self-confidence.
Self-Confidence is Very Much Like a Muscle
Now, of course, developing self-confidence is not always easy and it does take time. But the good news is that it is much like a muscle that you work out at the gym. Imagine for instance doing bicep curls at the gym. Your goal is to develop muscle growth, however, you will fail to achieve muscle growth if you make any of the following mistakes:
- Expect that your muscles will grow significantly after one or two sessions.
- Expect that you will achieve muscle growth by lifting very light weights.
- Expect that you will attain muscle growth by working out inconsistently.
We all no doubt realize that these are flawed ways of thinking about muscle growth when it comes to working out at the gym. Your bicep muscles will only grow significantly after several weeks, months and years of training; only when you lift heavy weights and keep raising the bar higher as you improve; and only if you commit yourself to working out consistently for an extended period of time. We can of course throw in the importance rest, nutrition, and other factors into the mix, but for the most part, that is how you grow your bicep muscles. And that is also how you develop your self-confidence.
Your level of confidence is like any muscle in the body. It only grows stronger over time when you use and develop this muscle through taking action towards a goal; through breaking down your fears; through gaining new experiences; and through daily self-acceptance and self-love. You can only develop self-confidence when you fully accept yourself and cultivate self-love. That is the only way. Without these, self-confidence cannot grow and become a part of you.
The sad fact is that most people never fully accept themselves, and that is where their problems lie. Without self-acceptance, they just don’t have enough faith in themselves to follow through with their actions. They just don’t have the trust in themselves to get the job done. And without faith and trust, there is no real self-love. And without these elements in place, true self-confidence cannot exist.
Yes, of course, these people will try to “fake it to make it”. They will try and pretend to feel confident in order to overcome a fear or get through a difficult situation, but this doesn’t always work. It doesn’t work because they make the same three mistakes that we discussed above:
- They expect that their confidence will improve significantly after a couple of tries.
- They expect to see a big boost in their confidence by doing small things that never take them too far outside their comfort zone.
- They expect that working on their confidence every-now-and-then will create lasting change.
These tactics don’t work for developing your bicep muscle, and they certainly won’t work when trying to develop your self-confidence. I’m of course not saying that we can’t develop confidence by taking small steps. That is a good strategy. However, it’s like lifting those tiny weights and never increasing the resistance. Without additional resistance, the muscle isn’t being put under enough strain in order to grow. Likewise, without pushing yourself beyond what feels comfortable into the realm of discomfort, your confidence will also not grow. We must instead be willing to get uncomfortable in order to begin boosting our confidence levels.
The Self-Confidence Self-Analysis Process
Before delving into methods to help you develop true self-confidence, it’s important to get an understanding of where you’re at when it comes to your level of confidence in areas that matter most.
First of all, it’s important to fully accept where you’re at in your life at this very moment. Take time to acknowledge your fears and insecurities and how they are preventing you from moving forward. Ask yourself:
What insecurities do I have about various aspects of my life?
What fears are holding me back in these areas?
By fully accepting your answers to these questions will help to pave the way forward for positive change.
Your next step is to acknowledge areas of your life where you feel confident. These are your greatest areas of strength and accomplishment. Ask yourself:
Where do I feel most confidence?
What am I good at doing?
What’s something worthwhile that I have accomplished?
How does all this make me feel?
Your answers to these questions will help you to get a sense of what true self-confidence feels like. Then, of course, the next step will be to transfer the self-confidence you have in these areas of your life into areas where you are lacking in confidence.
Your final step is to acknowledge some of the goals you would like to accomplish but can’t at the moment because you’re lacking in self-confidence. Ask yourself:
Where specifically would I like to be more confident?
What specifically would I like to be more confident with? Specify the time, place and situation.
How exactly do I want to feel in this area of my life?
Why is all this important? Why do I want this badly?
What will having self-confidence in this area of my life allow me to do?
I realize I did mention “feeling confident” above. Feeling confidence is certainly the first step towards having self-confidence, however, most people never get beyond that “feeling” in the areas that matter most. But that is a barrier you must cross if you desire to accomplish your goals.
Having acknowledged the areas of your life where you would like to feel more confident, it’s critical now that we also recognize the obstacles that are likely to prevent you from moving forward. Ask yourself:
What obstacles could I likely face along this journey?
What specifically will these obstacles prevent me from doing?
How will I handle these obstacles when they arise?
Many people struggle with identifying obstacles because obstacles are scary. They are an element that we rather not face, and yet many of these obstacles are inevitable. Sooner or later they will show up in your life, and if you are not ready and able to deal with them, you will slide right back into the confines of your comfort zone.
Acknowledging what obstacles you are likely to face can be overwhelming and can potentially weaken any sense of confidence you originally had when you set your goal. However, we can very easily shift perspective and look at obstacles in another way. For instance, taking the time to understand the potential obstacles you might face can help boost your levels of confidence as long as you develop a plan on how to overcome them. The act of “having a plan” in place to successfully move beyond these obstacles will help you develop a deeper sense of confidence. This is by no means “self-confidence” as there is still plenty of hesitation and doubt, but you are making progress in the right direction.
Shifting Perspective About the Obstacles You Face
It’s important to acknowledge above all else that self-confidence is a state-of-mind. It’s not something you do, but rather something you “are”. It’s a mindset you bring into every situation, and that is what makes all the difference. When you have self-confidence you naturally see failure, rejection, criticism, embarrassment, uncomfortable change or a mistake you just made in a very different light compared to the person who doesn’t have that same level of self-confidence. And this difference in how you think makes all the difference in how you handle the situation.
For most people, these kinds of circumstances are difficult to face. It’s very easy to get down on ourselves when facing failure, criticism, and rejection for instance. Just the very thought of these circumstances immediately makes people cringe and their confidence quickly plummets. Why? Because their confidence comes from a “feeling” and not a sense of “knowing”. They feel confident only when circumstances are favorable. However, the moment the winds change and they face adversity, they panic and as a result, their confidence level sinks.
The one big key here to developing self-confidence is to begin progressively shifting how you see/perceive these circumstances. You can either choose to see things one way or another way. One way is more favorable than the other way, however, the choice is always yours to make.
So how do people who have a tremendous amount of self-confidence perceive failure, rejection, embarrassment, fear, criticism, uncomfortable change and making mistakes? How do they consistently play out these circumstances in their mind? Well, let’s take a look.
The Perspective for Failure
People who have high levels of self-confidence see failure as an inevitable part of life. They understand that the more risks they take the more likely the chances of failure, however at the same time more risks equal higher probability of success. And they are okay with that. They realize that failure is simply a part of success. In fact, they see failure as nothing more but a stepping stone to success because every failed attempt provides feedback. They then use this feedback to make better choices and decisions in the future, and that is why their self-confidence never fades.
For a comprehensive analysis of what it means to fail, please read Understanding Failure and Overcoming Failure.
The Perspective for Making Mistakes
People who have high levels of self-confidence see each mistake as an opportunity to learn and grow. They learn about what worked and what didn’t work; what played out as expected and what didn’t; and what tweaks can be made to improve future attempts. They then use this knowledge and information to do better the next time around. In fact, they see that the more mistakes they make the more wisdom (comes from experience) they gain about what simply doesn’t work. And the more they “know of” that doesn’t work, the better their odds of success the next time around. That’s pretty much the way they see mistakes, which is why their self-confidence doesn’t waver when mistakes are made.
For a comprehensive analysis of what to do when mistakes are made, please read Learning from Mistakes.
The Perspective for Facing Rejection
People who have high levels of self-confidence never take rejection personally. They understand that rejection can often result from a misunderstanding of some kind. Clear up the misunderstanding and that by itself can clear up the rejection. However, they also do recognize that at times other people simply have differing beliefs, values, and opinions, and as a result, they will never look favorably upon them or their opinions. That’s just how life is. People are different and that’s what makes us unique in our own right. They accept that this is a fact and just move onto the next person who could have more similar values, beliefs, and opinions, and that is why their self-confidence never wavers.
For a comprehensive analysis of how to handle rejection, please read Understanding Rejection and Handling Rejection.
The Perspective for Facing Criticism
People who have high levels of self-confidence clearly understand the value of criticism. They accept that every piece of criticism provides them with valuable feedback that they can use to better themselves; to better their ideas; or to better their approach. Even when criticism doesn’t come across as constructive, they still take it on board and try and use it to create positive change in their lives.
They also realize that some people’s criticism has nothing to do with them but rather everything to do with the other person. The other person might just be feeling angry or frustrated; maybe they had a bad day, or maybe they are envious of them for some reason. Often people will throw harsh criticism at others because they either don’t quite understand or they are just struggling with their own self-esteem issues. Self-confident people understand this, and that is why their self-confidence never wavers.
For a comprehensive analysis on how to face criticism, please read How to Handle Criticism.
The Perspective for Dealing with Fear
People who have high levels of self-confidence understand that fear mainly exists because of uncertainty. Anything new that they haven’t done before will always bring with it a little uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear. However, they are not phased by fear because they recognize that feeling fear signifies that they need to be more focused and patient. They must take their time to practice and gain the necessary experience to turn what was once “uncertain” into something more certain. And that, of course, comes with the experience of gaining new skills, knowledge, support and/or the tools that are required to help them move through this uncertain situation successfully. They challenge their fear head-on and watch it disintegrate over time. and that is why their self-confidence never wavers.
For a comprehensive analysis on how to deal with fear, please read Understanding Fear, Conquering Fear, Overcoming Fear and Eliminating Fear. These titles may sound similar but each article tackles fear from a different perspective.
The Perspective for Handling Embarrassment
People who have high levels of self-confidence aren’t phased by embarrassment. They understand that the fear of embarrassment is simply an extension of the fear of failure and the fear of making mistakes. And those two fears are simply outcroppings of the fear of criticism and the fear of rejection. The result, of course, comes in the form of embarrassment and not wanting to do something because one of these fears is prevalent in one’s life. They clearly understand that feeling embarrassed is all in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds embarrassing, another person will revel in. They overcome this fear by absolutely “owning” everything they do no matter how poorly they do it at first, and that is why their self-confidence never wavers.
For a comprehensive analysis on how to get over the fear of embarrassment, please read Overcoming Embarrassment.
The Perspective for Dealing with Uncomfortable Change
People who have high levels of self-confidence see unexpected change as a natural part of life. Just like the seasons change every year, they understand that life also goes through ebbs and flows throughout a lifetime. They accept these changes and adapt to them accordingly. In fact, often they revel in these changes because they clearly understand that an unwanted change can often bring unexpected benefits and new opportunities that they never realized were possible, and that is why their confidence never wavers.
For a comprehensive analysis on how to deal with both expected and unexpected change, please read How to Embrace Change and The Seasons of Transformation.
How to Construct Your Self-Confidence
Let’s now take a look at some guidelines to help you purposefully construct your self-confidence in the days, weeks and months ahead. Some of the suggestions that follow are quite straightforward. However, don’t let that fool you into thinking that you tried this before and it doesn’t work. The key to success is “consistency”. Doing something once or even once in a while will not get you results. It’s rather a commitment to consistent action that will get you the results you desire in your life.
Find Mentors and Role Models
It is said that you are the average of your five closest friends. Therefore if your five closest friends consistently experience low levels of self-confidence, then it is very likely that you also experience the same. And if not, then the longer you hang around these people the more likely your levels of confidence are likely to plummet. You either raise other people up to a higher level, or they will pull you down to their level.
Given this, it’s absolutely critical that we regularly associate with people who will raise our levels of confidence in various situations. I’m talking about people who are energetic, upbeat, passionate and inspiring. People who seem naturally confident and capable in any situation, and who will do nothing but encourage you during the toughest of times. Those are the people you need to be around to get a sense of what having self-confidence actually feels like.
However, when it comes to finding mentors and role models it’s also important to look outside of your social circle, and choose to turn to books, movies and/or documentaries for guidance and inspiration. Read about how people overcame life’s greatest adversities and get a sense of how they surmounted their lack of self-confidence. It is these real-life stories that will give you a sense of what it takes to rise above all the things that at the moment give you jitters. But reading about these people is one thing; it’s a whole step-up when you begin modeling their behavior, decisions, and actions.
Consistently Model Confident People
Everything in life follows a set of patterns. From the planets to the moon, to the seasons, to the migration of animals, and to the behaviors of human beings. From the big to the medium, to the tiniest objects within the universe; absolutely everything follows a very specific pattern. And that, of course, is very good for all of us, especially for those who want to improve their self-confidence. Why? Because self-confidence can be modeled and practiced.
Your peers, mentors and role models who have the self-confidence you are wanting to instill within yourself live-out daily patterns. Their daily patterns are reflected in the way they sit, act, dress, talk, think, walk, interact with others, and even how they spend their time. Within each one of their actions they “ooze” self-confidence, and that’s exactly what you need to bottle-up and drink for yourself.
Have a think about all the people with high levels of self-confidence and ask yourself:
How does this person act in various situations?
How do they tend to talk even when dealing with uncertainty or when handling ample pressure?
How do they typically walk? What’s their energy and vibe like when they walk?
How do they tend to sit? What’s particularly striking about this? What insights can I gather?
How do they often interact with others especially when dealing with conflict and other social pressures?
How do they typically dress? What does their style of dress say about them?
How do they tend to spend their time?
How do they think and reflect on their circumstances? What’s empowering about all this?
What about their beliefs? What do they typically believe about themselves, others and their circumstances?
What skills are they good at? Why are they proficient at these skills? Why specifically?
What additional patterns of behavior can I see that might be of value to help me better understand what it takes to have self-confidence?
Taking the time to answer these questions will provide you with surprising insights about what it takes to “have” self-confidence”. The key then, of course, will be to use this information to make small adjustments in the way you live your life. Ask yourself:
How can I begin modeling these people even in a small way at first?
How can I use this information to help improve my own self-confidence?
For instance, you can begin by dressing the part of a person with self-confidence. Immediately your self-image will improve and as a result, the confidence you have in yourself will expand. However, it’s all about taking small progressive steps. Don’t try to model everything at once. Start with one thing first until you develop a habit, and then move onto the next thing. With consistent effort, what you started out consciously modeling will eventually become second nature.
For a comprehensive analysis of what it takes to model another person’s behavior, please read Modeling Successful People. Moreover, you might like to gain some practice by Modeling Richard Branson’s Mindset.
Improve Your Physiology
One critical area to work on to help you develop self-confidence rests within your physiology. I’ve already discussed in detail the link between physiology and our mindset in the Physiology of Excellence article so I won’t go into too much detail here. However, it is important to point out that how you move your body, how you walk, how you sit and how you breath all have an impact on how you think about the events and circumstances of your life.
If you take a little time to compare the physiology of a person with self-confidence and a person without it, you will find that they use their body very differently. In fact, it’s worlds apart.
A person who has self-confidence will move faster, breathe more deeply, walk and sit more upright, etc, than a person lacking in confidence who will often move sluggishly, breathe in a shallow manner and sit slouching over. These are all key factors that influence how both these people experience reality. Making adjustments in any one of these areas will immediately transform how you see the world and the circumstances of your life.
Be Curious and Adventurous
People who have self-confidence are very curious and adventurous. They are willing to try new things and step outside their comfort zone to expand their horizons. Moreover, they are accepting of the fact that by trying new things they will make mistakes. And all this is okay because they have an adventurous spirit.
Being adventurous isn’t easy for the person who has close ties to his/her comfort zone. However, adventure always begins with a curious mind, and therefore cultivating curiosity is certainly a great place to start.
Curiosity is what will encourage you to step outside your comfort zone, to take risks and chances. It is the one thing that will open your mind to new possibilities and perspectives. And of course, curiosity begins with the act of asking effective questions. The more questions you ask about what exists outside of your comfort zone, the more curious you will become. And with more curiosity, you will naturally develop a more adventurous spirit, which is, of course, a requirement for developing self-confidence.
Set Achievable Goals
In order to stretch your comfort zone and follow your adventurous spirit, you will need to set some achievable goals that are just beyond your comfort zone. These goals are challenging but reachable with a little work and some discomfort.
Goals are important because they will help you live with a deeper sense of purpose while also keeping you focused and motivated on what’s most important. However, there is a right and wrong way to set goals. You can either try The GROW Model method or the SMART Goal Setting method. Either style of goal setting can be of value to help you get the results you desire to create in your life.
Always Encourage Others
One very simple and overlooked way to develop your self-confidence comes through the act of encouraging others in times of difficulty. When you encourage others you naturally boost their levels of self-belief and self-confidence. They have someone who supports and believes in them, and that often goes a long way towards helping them break down barriers that they struggled to move through by themselves.
All this is helpful for you because through the simple act of encouraging others you begin feeling better about yourself. Moreover, people will very often give back to you what you gifted to them. In this instance, they will encourage you in return, and you now suddenly have someone in your corner who supports you through thick and thin. That by itself can do wonders to help you develop self-confidence. However, you must be wary not to rely on others in this way for the long-term because they might not always be there for you. You must instead internalize that self-confidence and draw it out of from within. But more about that within the final section when we discuss the self-confidence mindset.
Improve Ability to Solve Problems
One surefire way to improve your self-confidence is to become a better problem solver. We often struggle with our self-confidence because of our inability to solve problems. Unfortunately, this is something that we cannot escape from because the sad truth is that problems are simply a part of life. In fact, life is full of endless problems. And your ability to solve those problems essentially determines the quality of life you live.
It is therefore absolutely paramount that you work on developing your ability to solve problems creatively and even commit yourself to using specific models such as the six thinking hats method for solving problems. With practice, what you will find is that your self-confidence will naturally grow from “within” every time you successfully solve one of life’s endless dilemmas. 🙂
Unlocking the Self-Confidence Mindset
Earlier in the article, I mentioned that there is a major difference between “feeling” confident and “having” self-confidence. And that “difference” essentially comes down to our mindset.
A person who is feeling confident only feels that way because of how things are externally outside of them. The moment circumstances change, their feeling will likewise change and their confidence levels will subsequently be affected. On the other hand, when someone has self-confidence this means that their confidence comes from within themselves irrelevant of the events and circumstances going on around them. Therefore, no matter how things change in the external world, their confidence remains at the same level because they gauge their confidence from internal sources. And this, of course, comes down to “mindset”.
It’s the mindset that these people bring into every situation that makes all the difference. And bringing a very specific mindset into a situation influences the decisions one makes and the actions one takes in that particular situation. Therefore a “mindset” in this context isn’t only about how you think or perceive a situation, it also encompasses how you behave and act in that situation as a result of your thoughts and perspectives.
Let’s now take a look at the mindset of self-confidence in a little more detail by breaking down all the relevant components that go into shaping it.
The Qualities of Self-Confidence
When thinking about the individual components of self-confidence, what typically comes to mind? Maybe passion or curiosity? Maybe courage and gratitude? Or how about self-discipline, patience, and determination? Self-confidence is made up of these parts working together as a unit. Therefore in order to develop more self-confidence, it’s important to focus on growing yourself in each of these areas. The more you grow and develop yourself in each area, the higher levels of self-confidence you will have.
Here is a quick break down of the value of each area:
- Passion is required to keep you focused and motivated on the highest value activities. It fuels your self-confidence.
- Curiosity is required to help you gain the insights you need to work through problems successfully.
- Courage is required to help you face your fears head-on, giving you the self-confidence you need to overcome your problems.
- Gratitude is required to help you see the blessings in every problem and situation.
- Self-Discipline is required to help you stay focused and on target for extended periods at a time even when things might not seem to be working in your favor.
- Patience is required because to have self-confidence you must be willing and able to grow from each experience. Self-confidence only comes through experience, and for that, you need ample patience.
- Determination is required to help you persist through the difficulties you will inevitably face.
Using Empowering Language
Self-confidence is not only about how we think about our lives and circumstances, it’s also how we tend to talk to ourselves about our lives and circumstances. Those people who have self-confidence use empowering language that helps them break down barriers that stop other people in their tracks. But it’s not just about the words they speak, it’s also about how they express those words and the power of their language that makes all the difference.
Expecting Positive Outcomes
One of the primary differences between a person with self-confidence and a person without it comes down to having positive expectations. A person who has high levels of self-confidence always expects the best. Yes, things will at times go wrong in unexpected ways. In fact, Murphy’s Law may come into play time-and-again, however, this does not change their demeanor. They clearly understand that every problem presents an opportunity. It’s a blessing in disguise, and they, therefore, look for the positive outcome in every situation, and that is what gives them the confidence to keep moving forward.
Asking Solution-Focused Questions
This, of course, comes back to cultivating curiosity and having the willingness and courage to ask solution focused questions that move you towards your desired outcome. What this habit actually helps you avoid doing is making excuses.
When you ask solution focused questions you cannot make excuses. You are instead looking for answers and potential opportunities that you could take advantage of. And that, in essence, is what is required to develop high levels of self-confidence, because the more questions you ask the better answers you’ll get and the more you will know what to do the next time around. And as a result, this will improve your levels of self-confidence.
Challenging Limiting Beliefs
We all have at some level limiting beliefs about certain aspects of our lives. However, self-confidence requires that we consistently challenge these limiting beliefs whenever possible. If you fail to do this then you will lack the necessary self-confidence you are searching for because your limiting beliefs will always get in your way.
These limiting beliefs will sabotage you time-and-again because they are in conflict with your desired actions. Self-confidence simply cannot exist unless and until you eliminate these limiting beliefs from your life. If you ignore this fact, then you will constantly struggle with self-sabotaging forces controlling your life.
Cultivating Laughter and Humor
Laughter and humor are very important for self-confidence because along our journey through life we will undoubtedly face a great many struggles. For most people, the struggles are a burden. Emotionally they struggle to handle these problems and as a result their self-confidence plummets. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
People who have self-confidence face problems that they are unable to solve all the time. Typically this would deplete their self-confidence, right? If I can’t solve something I’m obviously not feeling very confident about it. But if I laugh about it or find the humor in the situation, then just maybe I can start seeing the situation from a very different perspective. I no longer see myself as a “victim” of circumstance, but rather I see the situation as something I can potentially control because it doesn’t affect me emotionally. And the fact that I’m laughing about it relaxes me and this immediately frees my brain to search for answers.
Upgrading Personal Standards
People who have high levels of self-confidence set very high standards for themselves. Their high standards encourage them to think and act in a way that goes above and beyond how normal people would think and act in typical situations.
These people expect more from themselves in every situation, and because they expect more they are naturally more confident that they can get the job done. Of course, confidence comes from reaching those personal standards, which is why they don’t set standards that are beyond what they are capable of. They instead set achievable standards and then raise the bar over time as they gain more experience and confidence. That is, in essence, one of the key ways of how to grow your self-confidence over time.
The Avoidance of Self-Confidence Depleting Habits
Self-criticism, procrastination, perfectionism, dwelling on failure and mistakes… all of these things will immediately deplete your levels of self-confidence, which is why people with high levels of self-confidence never dabble in these habits. In fact, they avoid these habits like a plague because they fully understand the negative impact they can have.
For instance, criticizing yourself goes against the habit of curiosity and using humor and empowering language. Dwelling on failure and mistakes go against the habit of gratitude and asking solution-focused questions. Indulging in procrastination goes against the act of setting higher standards. And then there is perfectionism. This is a form of “patience”, however, it is also a form of procrastination that hides fear and indecision, which certainly don’t mesh very well with self-confidence.
Ultimately, you have a choice. You can either choose to indulge in habits that deplete your levels of self-confidence, or you can choose alternate habits that will over time raise your levels of self-confidence. And that choice is, of course, yours to make, so choose wisely by asking:
Is this habit I have chosen for myself building or tearing down my level of self-confidence?
Time to Assimilate these Concepts
Did you gain value from this article? Is it important that you know and understand this topic? Would you like to optimize how you think about this topic? Would you like a method for applying these ideas to your life?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I’m confident you will gain tremendous value from using the accompanying IQ Matrix for coaching or self-coaching purposes. This mind map provides you with a quick visual overview of the article you just read. The branches, interlinking ideas, and images model how the brain thinks and processes information. It’s kind of like implanting a thought into your brain – an upgrade of sorts that optimizes how you think about these concepts and ideas. 🙂
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Gain More Knowledge…
Here are some additional links and resources that will help you learn more about this topic:
- 3 Techniques to Boost Your Confidence @ Psych Central
- 6 Ways to Build Self-Confidence @ Inc.
- 8 Ways to be More Confident @ Tiny Buddha
- 10 Ways to be More Confident at Work @ Forbes
- 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence @ Pick the Brain
- 25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence @ ZenHabits
- 63 Ways to Build Self-Confidence @ Lifehack
- Building Confidence @ Skills You Need
- Building Self-Confidence @ Mind Tools
- How to Build Self-Confidence @ Reachout
- How to Build Self-Confidence @ WikiHow
- How to Build Self-Confidence: 6 Essential and Timeless Tips @ The Positivity Blog
- The Best Way to be More Confident @ Inc.
- The Confidence Gap @ The Atlantic